Ok, I know that most of you already feel that Paddy’s CMs are not quite all there… But after you have read my true story of the week, I hope that you will appreciate that I, at least, am normal (well kind of..!)

It started off a few week’s ago in fact, when I bought two tiny Rankin’s Dragons. Rankin’s Dragons, for those of you who are unfamiliar, are in fact, reptiles - lizards, to be more exact. I’ve always wanted a lizard, and these two cuties were irresistably gorgeous, and they were waving frantically at me in the shop and mouthing “buy me mum, buy me mum!” through the glass jail that was their temporary home… So I simply had to oblige and made my purchase.

On arrival back home with the babies, I ask the kids for ideas on names… We eventually settled with Sheila and Bruce (quite apt don’t you think, considering the Dragons originate from Australia?!) Cool names for lizards! I can just picture them now with tiny hand-made hats with corks bobbing underneath them, cooking crickets on the barby and asking “anyone else for a tinny?!” - Fabulous (I’m still making their hats, by the way!) Cool.. I’m going to put up tiny plasticized framed pictures of other Dragons in their vivarium, so they have others to look at and adore - well, I’ve still got posters of George Clooney, so why shouldn’t they?! - But that’s another story!
Anyway, as some of you may have already heard… I had an ‘incident’ the other night… I was working away in Diamond room when suddenly I saw not one, two, three, four or five… In fact, it seemed more like one hundred and five brown CRICKETS marching towards me!!!  Eeeek!!!! I imagined them having huge machetes and spears and wanting to reap their revenge on me for feeding their friends and families live to my babies!! I was truly scared… Could this be karma coming round to kick me in the bum?! I’m so sorry little crickets, I really am, honest…

The angry crickets kept on coming, so much so that I had to ask Gaming Support to come and relieve me for my break, so that I could go help the kids catch (or, as was more true to life, squash!) the little critters so that I would not become over-run and could hopefully avoid another version of the Plague from the Bible… I had to say I was going for my break, but I never actually even got a glass of water because of the little tyrants! My husband was working on a late shift at this time and boyyyy was he going to get an ear-bashing for this - surely this was his entire fault, for not sealing the vivarium correctly??! I had to blame someone after all!

So the kids and I collected, or actually annihilated as many as we could and I settled back into my shift, thanking Gaming Support for my much-needed break! But as the night went on, the critters simply kept coming to avenge me.. Long-suffering hubby arrived home at 10:30pm and I sat there waiting for him with a scowl and the sharpest kitchen knife I could find. He checked everything over two or three times but couldn’t find where the critters were coming from. So I just resigned myself to the fact that we were going to be over-run till the things either died of starvation or of cold, or however else they die - I am only aware of them being eaten alive - mmmm cricket stew for hubby’s punishment maybe; chocolate-coated crickets, anyone?!

For the next three days I was finding crickets loose in the house - Oh My God, where’s Moses when he’s needed?! (Was it Moses who rid the plague of locusts in the bible? - I’m not very religious and can’t remember back that far!) Anyway we eventually discover that the critters were escaping the vivarium via the air vents at the back, which were so large, the things could simply walk through them at their heart’s content and make my life a living nightmare as they so wished! So, two pairs of 30-denier tights and a bodged job later, and my Dragons and their live food were once again safely contained inside their newly-decorated home complete with plasticized icons of their long-lost cousins…

My kids and I are now happily living in peace… But I have just this minute realised… Did my husband ever check that opened box of cornflakes??! I’ll kill him for sure if he didn’t!

To be continued…

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This entry was posted on 12:25pm Thursday, October 23rd, 2008 and is filed under Bingo Blog, Funny cos it's true, True Story of the Week, Winners. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. By commenting on this site you agree to abide by our terms and conditions.

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