The Secret Diary of a Paddy CM - January 18th 09
Happy New Year!!!
Resolutions….
1. Stay off the ciggies. Nearly two months now and its quite nice not being controlled by those little white sticks from hell.
2. Write this diary more often. Been so so busy as of late and havent really had time to scratch me bum.
3. Lose weight!! Lots of it! Fed up looking like the back end of a bus… wanna look spectacular darl-ling for Gary and the boys in July.
Where do I start? Christmas was a bit of a limp lettuce this (last) year. Kids got up remarkably late (8am) and then they had to spend another 30 minutes waking their Dad up, who swore at them a few times under his breath before throwing an enormous “Kevin” tantrum about having to get up before lunchtime. Was great watching them open their presents, but the highlight had to be Alfies face when he realised that the enormous box in the corner wasnt a play house for his sister but in fact was a snooker table for him! The rest of the day involved tidying up, putting toys together, tidying up, eating, putting toys together, eating, working and tidying up! In the evening we decided to have a little drive around to have a look at some of the houses in our area. We live in quite a well to do place where the residents dont think about the credit crunch, they think about out doing each other on over doing the Christmas lights! Lapland UK? Pfft was round the corner to me mate! So many lights going on round here Im sure they could see it from space!!
Also went to see my nephew Kris’ band play for the first time. Thought they were ok when they first started, but I discovered that the more wine I drank the better they became. Maybe they should employ me to go with them to every gig to drink. People will be blown away by how wonderful they are by the time I hit my fourth glass!
New Year was pretty much the same. His Lordship sulked coz we didnt get an invite out (although I told him to go to the pub with his mates), and no one would come over to us, the kids played snooker and I watched some stupid music programme on the TV. What exciting lives we lead!
Now things are getting back to normal. Decorations are well and truly down and in the back of a dustcart, kids are back at school, his lordship back to moaning about the state Spurs are in at the moment and me plucking grey hairs out of me barnet! Speaking about hairs…. never ever ever wax off facial hair! Im currently walking about with a big red patch thats really really sore and dry. Concealer only looks good for a few minutes before it all clogs up and looks horrid. The next person to mention the hairs on me chin will be pinned down and I shall use the remaining strips about their person!!
Anyway, Im off to try to find some vaseline to smear all over me face. Just thought I had better “check in” and hopefully now Xmas and New Year is out the way I should be able to come and play a bit more often.
Tutty bye xx
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