The Secret Diary of a Paddy CM - Sunday 30th November
Im baaaaccckkkk!
Have ya missed me?? Tut ya could sound a little more convincing. Ive had a great week…spent most of it on me back, sweaty and panting for air.
I woke on the Thursday feeling fine although I was still playing nursemaid with Ben and Berry who were still both poorly with temperatures and generally feeling unwell. By mid morning I could feel a little tickle in the back of my throat so was constantly cough cough coughing. Then just to add insult to injury, me Dad turns up! Dont get me wrong, I love me Dad to bits, but he turns up here with a hidden pair of white gloves and does adhoc inspections of my dust piles and then moans incessantly about how my dust pile is half a millimetre higher than family law allows… sigh!
Actually he wasnt too bad, I think he could see that I was kind of under it with the mini hitlers demanding drinks etc, so he had a quick cup of tea, handed me some doughnuts for the kids and my birthday card and made a quick exit. Result!!
The rest of the day went pretty much to plan until I sat down to do my shift in the evening. All started well, but as the time went on I began to feel less and less well. In the end poor GG had to jump in to give me half me half an hour to take some pain killers and give them time to work. By the end of my shift I just wanted to curl up and die, so grabbed the duvet, put Jeremy Kyle on tv (late night repeats.. ya gotta love em) and crashed out.
Friday morning I awoke to the kids all nudging me wishing me Happy Birthday, and I was wishing they would all just disappear and leave me alone. His Lordship finished work on Thursday so he got them all ready for school for me and dropped them off which was a huge relief. I rolled myself back up in me duvet and hoped the car would break down so I had a few more minutes alone before he came home issuing orders that this needed doing and that needed washing. No such luck… in he came like a man on a mission, stripping beds and cleaning the front room. I pottered about in the kitchen for as long as I could trying to look busy until I could get away with locking myself in the bathroom. Oh I didnt feel good at all. If this was what it was like to get older I decided I didnt want it.
Friday night after I finished my final shift we went out for a meal and to the cinema. The meal was amazing. We took our seats and placed our orders and our starters had arrived before our drinks did! Must admit it was lovely, from what I could taste. The main course arrived just as quickly and I was a little disappointed as I chose pasta…. not ideal when your taste buds have gone on holiday! I know the dessert was to die for though, I could see the look on his Lordships face as he delved in to some chocolate brownie and all these sauces and ice creams. Cue visions of “When Harry Met Sally”.
The film on the other hand…. omg what a let down! I hadnt been to the cinema since February 1998 and I really wanted to see “Zack and Miri Make a Porno”. The write ups I had seen likened it to American Pie and such like but what an insult. It wasnt funny in the slightest and I still feel like invoicing the makers of this film for compensation for the 90 minutes of my life I will never get back!
The following three days resulted in me laying on the sofa coughing me guts up, sniffling, blowing me nose and generally feeling wretched. I felt so low knowing this week which was meant to be for me and His Lordship to spend some much needed time by ourselves while the kids were at school and it was just passing us by. I could barely walk up the hallway without ending up on my knees gasping for breath.
In the end His Lordship bought me some cough mixture. Aniseed flavour… for chesty coughs. Anyone getting an idea whats coming next yet? Can someone please point me in the general direction of the CLOWN who thought it would be a good idea to make cough mixture out of a laxative! Sooooo not funny when your coughing your lungs up and then suddenly you have to try to get to the loo in rapid time when all along your trying to gasp for your every breath!
Finally started to feel a bit better by Wednesday so we managed to get out and do some shopping then. Was so nice just to get out of the house. Then on Thursday we popped to my Dads (resisting the urge to return the favour with the white glove) and then to my Father in Laws. Dont know how on earth it happened, but we ended up in the pub!
Then yesterday it was the turn of the Mother in Law. Ohhhh joy. A whole day of us all fighting for a seat in the living room, kids moaning they want to go home and us all sitting around just looking at each other! The most exciting part of the day was speculating exactly why we were caught in a 5 mile traffic jam on the way home!!
So as you can see, Ive had a brilliant week, and I bet you all have too… a whole week without Quartz terrorising ya. Well guess what…… that stops tomorrow. Ohhh its gonna be soooo good to be back……hahahahahaaaaaa!
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